Faithfully
by sweet intoxicationnn
Summary: Sequel to "Leaving on a Jet Plane." Logan has been on tour with Big Time Rush for five weeks and is missing Camille. He calls her and the two reconnect better then he expected. Logan/Camille. Mentions of Kendall/Jo.


**Disclaimer:** I own nothing.

_Highway run into the midnight sun _

_Wheels go round and round _

_You're on my mind _

_Restless hearts sleep alone tonight _

_Sending all my love along the wire _

_They say that the road _

_ain't no place to start a family _

_Right down the line it's been you and me _

_And loving a music man _

_ain't always what it's supposed to be _

_Girl _

_you stand by me _

_I'm forever yours _

_Faithfully_

"**Faithfully" by Journey**

**Logan's POV**

It's been exactly five weeks since I've left Los Angeles. Five grueling, miserable, stressful, wonderful weeks. Rehearsals and preparation for each show have been pure agony, but truthfully, I'd be lying if I said I didn't have fun on tour. I get to perform with my three best friends in the entire world and I get to see all of the loyal, energetic fans who support Big Tim Rush. It's a perfect scenario.

And I can't deny the exhilaration I feel when I'm singing to a stadium full of people. It's an amazing feeling being on stage. You walk out and your ears are filled with loud, echoing, sometimes piercing, screams. You look up and are momentarily blinded by the overhead lights and camera flashes. Tiny sparks course throughout your body as you take your first breath, and the second your mouth opens and you hit the first note everything in the world stops. The attention of thousands of people is fixated on you for those four minutes you belt out your song. You feel alive and powerful and important. For two hours everything in a one mile radius revolves around you.

At the moment the guys and I are checked into a lavish Hilton hotel in the heart of Miami. We just finished performing on the beach for this years' Spring Break concert series, ironically sponsored by Burton snowboards and winter gear. Kelly gives us our room keys and we enter our grand hotel room. Inside the massive room lies four beds, each placed and equal distance from one another, all facing towards the direction of an enormous 72 inch plasma screen television. There are two bathrooms, one on each side of the room, and a full size refrigerator placed in the far left corner. Colorful works of art adorn the walls and there is even a crystal chandelier hanging from the epicenter of the room. Carlos' eyes widen and he jumps up and down giddily like a child. His smile is almost contagious, and even though we all are pretty exhausted from an entire day of performing, we each can't help but feel excited too. Carlos drops his duffle bag on the floor and runs full speed to one of the beds, leaping into the air before crashing down on the soft pillows. He breathes out a gleeful sigh and rests his head back on the comforter.

"Man, this is the nicest room we've been in this whole tour," Carlos says while rubbing his cheek on the blankets beneath him.

We all nod our heads in agreement with Carlos. This hotel room was pretty amazing.

Kendall makes his way toward the bathroom closest to the entrance and James walks over to pick out a bed. I follow suit and soon unpack some of the essentials I'll be needing for the night here. Just as I'm pulling out my pajama pants, I hear James' voice exclaim, "Now don't get too comfortable boys. I saw some gorgeous girls in the lobby on our way up here and I think they'd jump at the chance to hang out with the guys from Big Time Rush. Am I right?" James' devious smirk is almost comical to look at.

Carlos perks his head up from the pillows and smiles a huge grin at James. "Oh I think they would definitely like to spend some time with the guys headlining a tour across America," Carlos replies rising from the bed and making his way over to his discarded duffle bag. He grabs it and takes out a fresh pair of dark wash jeans and a T-shirt. James is also producing a new set of clothes to change into, while I on the other hand zip my bag up and continue to replace my concert clothes with my pajamas. James looks surprised and asks, "Wait, Logan, aren't you coming?" I shake my head from side to side for effect and say, "No, I'm really worn out from today, and besides, why do I need to talk to girls? I've got Camille back home."

Camille. Even her name sends a ripple of pain through my body and I have to put all my focus on acting as if I'm perfectly fine. It's so very obvious I'm not. I've been missing her more and more passionately every day. I feel like a part of me is missing. Struggling to cope without her these past few weeks has been strangely more difficult then I planned. The only time she is not present in the forefront of my mind is when I'm on stage. Luckily enough I can throw my whole self into performing and putting on a great show for the fans, but the second my foot steps off the stage my head is filled with images, memories, and reminders of her.

James shrugs his shoulders indifferently and rakes a brush through his hair. "Suit yourself," he tells me. He takes one final sweep through his carefully groomed locks and turns around to head to the door. He glances behind his shoulders and calls to Carlos, "You ready man?"

Carlos sprays himself excessively with cologne and smoothes his shirt. "Yeah, let's go," he responds to James. "See you later Logie, tell Kelly we're just gunna be down in the lobby and not to freak out, okay?"

"Will do Carlos. Have fun guys," I reply while laying down on my bed and closing my eyes.

"Oh believe me, we will," retorts James ,and then the door is pulled shut behind them.

In the silence that follows my friends departures I can scarcely hear the sound of water being shut from behind the bathroom door and no more than two minutes later Kendall emerges fully clothed and ready for bed.

Kendall noticing three beds have already been claimed walks over and puts his dirty clothes next to the only available bed left. He sits on it and turns to me questioning, "Where are James and Carlos?"

I chuckle and face my friend. "They saw some girls in the lobby and are probably trying to work their magic on them as we speak." Kendall smiles and nods his head. I continue, "They just left about five minutes ago, I'm sure you could still catch them if you want."

Kendall's face becomes forlorn and he shakes his head left to right signifying "No."

"Nah, it would be kind of pointless going, and I probably wouldn't have fun anyway. I have Jo, and I don't need to do anything to mess that up."

I look at him and can't help but laugh. "That's pretty much what I said to James."

Kendall looks at me and tries to force a smile, but its strained and looks awkward on his face. I cast my eyes downward and sigh. I wasn't the only one who left someone they love back in California. Kendall was going through exactly what I was with Camille, but with his girlfriend Jo. At that moment we both had a mutual understanding of the others pain. We both understood the longing the other felt to be with the girl they loved. We both felt the agony rip through us at the mere mention of our girlfriends names.

Girlfriend. That seems such a petty word to describe what Camille is to me and what Jo is to Kendall. The passion we felt for them was far greater than what the silly label "girlfriend" could contain.

I sneaked a glance at my friend and saw his face become neutral and his eyes become dull. Still, he tried to smile at me again, and this time it looked slightly less forced and uncomfortable. He let out a tiny laugh and said, "Damn Logie, we really are a mess aren't we?"

Of course Kendall would try to mask his pain with humor. Kendall was exceptional at being a leader and giving motivational speeches, but when it came down to discussing his true feelings, especially towards Jo, he shut down completely.

I laughed alongside him anyway and agreed, "I guess we are."

After a few moments of silence Kendall spoke up again, "Hey, I'm gunna go talk to Gustavo. Before we got to the room he said he wanted to go over some harmonies for a new song he was writing and I'm getting pretty tired, so I'm just gunna go do that now." Kendall shifted hesitantly before getting up and making his way to the door. Not thinking much of it I moved to get up as well.

"I'll go with you," I said. "Carlos asked me to tell Kelly that he and James were downstairs so that she doesn't freak out if she comes in and they aren't here."

Kendall placed his hands in front of him, open palms facing toward me, and stuttered quickly, "N-n-no it's okay man, I'll do it for you, I'm headed that way anyway."

I looked at Kendall, taking notice of his peculiar behavior, but ultimately decided to shrug it off.

"Okay, thanks Kendall."

"Don't mention it," he replied swiftly and turned on his heel for the door. I watched his retreating form, scrutinizing his departure. As he placed his hand on the door knob I heard a soft, but distinct sniffle come from his direction, and saw his right hand raise to shield half of his face. He was out the door before I could utter a word.

It hit me that Kendall was holding all of his feelings in and never vented them out. He kept them bottled up inside until he couldn't hold his façade up anymore and was overcome by them. I felt a striking surge of pity for my best friend. Here I was going through the exact same thing as him, and yet he felt he couldn't talk to me about it. He just kept repressing his feelings until they got to a boiling point.

I glanced around the room and ultimately decided to make my way back to my bed. I sat on the side with my feet planted firmly on the ground and let out an exasperated sigh. I closed my eyes and let thoughts and images of Camille flood my mind. I replayed conversations, thought of previous dates we'd been on, and just generally welcomed memories of her all together. I visualized her perfect smile and soft brown curls framing her lovely face. I heard her sweet, whimsical laugh ringing in my ears in response to a nerdy joke I made. I could almost feel the delicate layers of her skin on my palms as my hands teased and touched her. I craved her presence. It had been far too long since I had seen her. I felt my heart clench at the prospect of going countless more weeks without being able to see her, be with her.

My hands started to shake slightly, and my eyes were soon clouded with hot, thick tears. As they spilled over onto my face I placed my hands in my hair and just let them free fall. I've suppressed my longing for Camille for over two weeks now and finally my resolve has crumbled, just like Kendall's.

I let myself wallow in my misery for ten minutes before I tried to regain some amount of control. I looked at the clock and found it was 11:35 PM. My heart gave a sudden leap. By now I knew Camille should be off the set for the movie she'd gotten a role in. I concluded that if I could physically be with Camille right now I would call her to hear the sound of her chiming voice.

I grabbed my phone from the bed side table and dialed a number I knew forwards and backwards. I placed the phone to my ear and held my breath. It rang once, twice, thrice. On the fourth ring I just about gave up hope before I heard a click and soft rustling coming from the other end of the line. I let go of the deep breath I was holding and heard the sound of Camille's airy voice in my ear.

"Logan," she exclaimed with happiness and joy. My heart swelled. Never had my name sounded more perfect then when it came from her lips. I felt a warm sensation spread through my body and I couldn't force the smile off my face if I tried.

"Hey Camille," I responded smoothly. "How are you?"

"I'm doing okay. Shooting today seemed like it would never end, but that's probably because I got no sleep last night. Anyway, how are you? How was the concert," she questioned in a delighted voice.

I chuckled softly and replied, "The concert was amazing. We sang eight songs and it seemed everyone there knew the words. There were at least 5,000 people, and the energy was just unbelievable. It was one of the best shows we ever put on too. And at the end there were free T-shirts being shot everywhere and dozens of beach balls bouncing and it was such an experience."

"Wow, sounds like fun. I wish I could have been there."

I'm not sure if it was an accident or if it was deliberate but Camille's last statement made a significantly noticeable shift in the mood. At first I was filled with joy and happiness, and now I felt overwhelming feelings of angst and longing.

"Me too," I said solemnly.

"I'm so sorry Logan. I didn't mean to phrase it like that, I just meant…," she trailed off hopelessly searching for the right words to say.

"No, honestly it's okay Camille. I just. I just miss you so much," I told her.

"I miss you too Logan," I heard her say before I heard her intake of breath and a far away sniffle.

"Oh Camille, don't cry. Please don't cry. I don't want to make you sad," I said to her desperately trying to plead her to calm down.

"It's not you Logan. I mean it is, but I'm just so sad because I wish you were here with me. Or I with you. I can't stand the thought of not seeing you any longer."

I quickly realized where this conversation was going. Most of the time when I called Camille from this tour we would try to be upbeat and positive. We'd exchange our stories for the day, maybe tell a joke or two, talk about random nonsense. We both decided we shouldn't make this harder on each other then we had to. We knew we had to be strong for one another. But sometimes the hunger for each other overpowered our will to stay positive and we crumbled. Tonight was one of those nights. It had been so torturously long since we had seen one another that we were falling apart second after second. It was nights and conversations like this that made me seriously consider jumping on a plane and flying back to Los Angeles just to be with her.

"I know Camille. I want so much to be back in L.A. with you. I've been missing you so much lately it hurts," I explained to her. I always tried to convey to her that if it had been any other circumstance in the world I would have never even left her side in the first place.

"What would you do if you were," she asked me directly.

"What do you mean," I questioned slightly confused. I felt my eyebrows knit together.

"I mean, what would you do if right at this very moment you were in Los Angeles. With me." I could detect curiosity in her voice, but I could also sense a slight sense of nervousness.

It was quite obvious, to me at least, what I would do if I was with her at this very point in time, but nonetheless, I decided to respond to her question by vocalizing my thoughts.

"Well at first I wouldn't do anything. I'd just stare at your beautiful face, drinking in your flawless features that I've missed so much. Then I'd come to your side and hold you close to me in a tight embrace. I'd want to feel your slender body pressed against my own. I'd lift your chin up and gaze into your gorgeous chocolate eyes and then I'd slowly bring your face forward. I'd grasp your soft cheeks against my palms and pull your face towards my own. I'd kiss your soft, pink lips. I'd breathe in the sweet scent on your hair. I'd run my hands through your velvety locks, twirling curls around each of my fingers. I'd place a flurry of kisses along your tender jaw line and lean in to whisper gently against your ear. I'd tell you how much I love you and how you are the only one for me. I'd tell you how flawless and immaculate your beauty is. I'd kiss my way down the delicate skin of your neck and rest on your collarbone. I'd place soft, slow kisses on the tender spot you love touched so much between your neck and collarbone. I'd lift you off your feet and carry you to the bedroom. I'd let my hands wander over you. Grazing and caressing your skin in a way only to please you. I'd join us as one and love you passionately and thoroughly until you've achieved your most absolute satisfaction. I'd wrap my arms around you and hold your body as close to mine as possible. I'd whisper words of love in your ear until you've fallen asleep. I'd never let you go."

It wasn't until I finished vocalizing all of my desires to Camille did I realize I had tears running down my face. I longed to be with her so much. Describing out loud everything I wanted to do with her only made my desire to actually do it increase tenfold.

I could hear Camille taking in sporadic, ragged breaths and heard her heart wrenching sobs perfectly clear from the other end of the line. I wished I could hug her, and hold her, and comfort her. But considering our current predicament, the only thing I could think of doing was whisper short, soothing phrases over and over to her in hopes that she would eventually feel better.

"Shh, it's okay Camille, I'm here," I repeated over and over until finally she spoke.

"Logan, being without you is so hard. I'm trying to be strong but it's so painful. I can't help but miss you and want you home with me every single say. I don't know how much more of this I can take."

I knew how she felt. We both felt the exact same feeling of anguish and sorrow. Our desires taking control over our priorities. We both were very conscious of the fact that for our careers sakes, we could not just drop everything and be together. While we both desperately wanted to, we both had enough sense the face the harsh truth of reality and come down from our dreams.

"I know Camille, I know," I murmured in a low voice. I was aware of the ache that sounded in my voice and I knew Camille could hear it too.

Suddenly, I heard Camille take a deep breath and after a few seconds of slow spaced intakes she began, "You know what Logan? It's okay, because I know you can't be on tour forever. I mean someday you have to come home, and like I told you before I'll be right here waiting for you."

I could tell she was putting on a false persona of contentment. She was trying to prove to me that she could be strong. She was picking up the pieces of our broken façades and putting them back together again.

"Camille, you don't have to do that…," I started to say. I didn't want her to think she couldn't be herself and be vulnerable with me now. Especially after all that we just went through. But she cut me off.

"No Logan, I mean it. I need to get a grip. This is your life. Your lifestyle. I knew it wasn't going to be easy from the beginning. Let alone you go on these tours for months on end, but you also have hundreds of girls throwing themselves at you daily. That's just the way it is. I need to learn to understand and accept that. Because even though I know you're coming back, you're not going to be here forever. You're going to have another tour. You're going to leave me again. I'm going to have to go through this again. I need to get a hold of myself now before I completely tear myself apart over this. If I can't get through this now, imagine what it's going to be like in the future."

She was right. I was going to come back, but there would be other tours. I was going to have to leave her again. I realized that I need to let her get through this her own way. I won't be able to be there for her, so if this is how she handles the separation then who am I to stop her?

"You're right Camille," I told her slowly putting the mask of my façade back into place.

"I know, I always am," she teased.

"Is that so?"

"Yes it is Logan, you should know by now."

I heard the sound of her laugh reverberating in my ear and then all was right again. Hearing her laughter and aiding to the production of it was one of the most wonderful things I felt I could do with my life. Her laughter soon faded and we were left in a brief, but comfortable silence.

"It's getting late," she voiced, in a soft calm demeanor.

I glanced at the clock and saw that almost an entire hour had passed from the time I dialed her number to now. I mused over everything we talked about in that amount of time. What began as an amiable conversation quickly turned into a declaration of previously unspoken passion, which flowed into a tormenting feeling of misery, only to be concluded with an agreement for false pretenses.

"Shooting for my scene starts at 7:30 AM, I think I should probably head off to sleep," she informed me.

"Sure, of course," I started. "Get some rest and have a wonderful day in set tomorrow."

"Thanks Logan, break a leg at your next show which is…," she trailed off.

"Two days from now," I finished for her.

"Okay, we'll talk again before then. Call me again tomorrow?"

"Absolutely," I promised. "And Camille," I trailed off from my statement like she did previously.

"Yeah Logan?"

"I love you, and sleep well," I told her gently.

"I love you too Logan. Goodnight," she whispered almost silently.

"Goodnight," I responded, and with that I hung up my phone.

I sat rooted in my position for a good five minutes. Camille was so wonderful. She always brought out the best in me. Even by simply talking to her on the phone she makes me reflect on myself. It's after phone calls and conversations like these that I remember how truly lucky I am to have Camille. It also reminds me of how much I want to be with her as well. As a few stray tears made their way down my cheeks, I reached up and turned off the gigantic chandelier's light. I crawled into bed and as the last thoughts of Camille over took my mind, I drifted into a slumbering unconsciousness.


End file.
